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Showing posts from May, 2024

Headstone

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Image Credit:  Sandra Seitamaa on Unsplash Silent headstone greets the eyes  They don't sparkle like yours in the picture. Dead flowers, dead leaves, and stones mark your slot, Layers of dust and mud are your weighted blanket.  Almost 18 months have passed in a blurry Of tears, sleepless nights, disbelief,  When dreams of you seem clearer than the reality without you. "I wish I could tell you this, I wonder what you would've thought of that",  Daily reminders that you're no longer here. Almost six months ago I saw your headstone. I hate going back to it. You're there and you're not.  I think I felt your presence, maybe it was just the wind whispering to leave you be.  So much to be done, so much to be said, A reality without you is hard-hitting, Laughter without you seems unfair,  Crossing milestones in my life, you won't be there.  Your silent headstone will greet the eyes for another 18 months   And just like the wind, you will b...

Forlorn Jonesing

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Image Credits: Julian Selemin, Contra Honestly, I think I dislike you— But often I find myself pausing Somewhere between indifference And what else did I expect? Dislike feels too mild, But hate sounds too much. You have a way Of drawing things out of me That I don’t always recognize Until it’s too late. I’m not sure who I resent more— You, Or the version of myself That keeps repeating the same pattern, Even while trying to resist it. My guard slips. Things I’d rather keep hidden Come into view, And I try to mask it all With confidence that doesn’t hold up. Nights arrive quietly, Not full of promise, Just the same weight Of thoughts looping back again, Unchanging. I tell myself I dislike you— That it’s buried deep, Under disappointment, Some anger, And a quiet frustration With myself. There’s no grand feeling now, Just a blankness That mirrors your calm, Which somehow unsettles me. And when I see myself— Really see— I’m not shocked, Just a little t...